Daddy-Daughter Dates
Planning an Extraordinary Time with your Spiritual Father
My 6-year-old daughter was glowing with excitement. Annaliese was getting ready for a special date with her dad, and we fixed her hair after she donned the dress we had specifically bought for the occasion. Her dad was preparing as well, putting on his only suit, which only comes out for special events like weddings. (My son, on the first time seeing his dad perform a wedding in these fancy duds said, “Hey, dad, do you get to keep the suit?”) My husband, Wade, had already planned their evening- dinner and a movie. Wade wanted to honor his growing, lovely daughter by spending time one-on-one with her, to listen to her and to speak works of love and truth to her spirit.
Fast forward to the following year. We were on a family vacation in Moab, Utah, a magnet for outdoor junkies like us. I woke up early one morning before sunrise with a song on my mind, “Will You Meet Me Here?” I believe that God often communicates with me by putting song lyrics in my head, remembering Psalm 42:8, “By day the Lord directs his love, at night his song is with me- a prayer to the God of my life.” I obeyed this prompting and got dressed for a walk. I hiked a mile or so from our campground to the Colorado River, watching the sandstone cliffs burn orange with the rising sun. While watching the sun’s reflection shimmering on the muddy banks, I was enamored by the fact that God had invited me to share this special time alone with him. I was on a Daddy-Daughter Date! God had planned in advance to meet me here, to quiet my spirit before him and to see the special gifts he had placed all around me- the light on the water, the sparkling spider web. As I unwrapped these gifts, taking the time to look at them more and more closely, He revealed more and more beauty that I often take for granted. He listened to me as I told him about my struggles to be free of negative self-talk and of comparing myself with others. He listened and He comforted.
On my Daddy-Daughter Date, I was reminded of Zephaniah 3:17, “The Lord your God is with you; He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will comfort you with his love, He will rejoice over you with singing.” Alone with my Father, I felt and reveled in his delight. He wrapped his comforting arms around me as I listened to his singing birds surrounding me.
In the ministry that my husband and I share, one of the required monthly responsibilities is to take a Personal Retreat Day- either a whole or half-day of being alone with the Lord. We can’t “do” ministry- no phone calls, no emails, limited interaction with people. I have decided to rename those retreat days my Daddy-Daughter Dates, recognizing that God has invited me to spend time alone with him, and he has spiritual jewels he is just waiting to give me.
But how do we make these days happen? Below are some tips we have utilized.
Make a plan: Like Wade planned for his date with Annaliese, sometimes we have to make a plan to meet with God. Although sometimes Wade will do something spontaneous with our daughter (“Get dressed and let’s go to breakfast!”), often it takes planning to create time together. In the same way, God will sometimes wake us up literally or figuratively, and say “Let’s get away together.” Sometimes, though, it takes planning to create a large chunk of time dedicated solely to the Lord. Look at your schedule to find a day, then work to make sure your responsibilities are covered.
Enlist the help of others: Even making a retreat of 3-4 hours may seem tantamount to an Everest expedition in your circumstances. But pray that God would show you who he has been preparing to help you in your spiritual growth. If you have young children at home, perhaps you could swap kid-watching time so that you could each get away for half a day. If you are a single parent, think of a family at church whose kids you admire. Share your desire for a retreat day with them, then ask them to pray about how they might help.
Be accountable: We send out a monthly ministry newsletter to our prayer and financial supporters, and we include the date for our retreat date for the upcoming month. We asked to be covered in prayer specifically on that day. There have been times in the busyness of life that I would have been tempted to skip my date if I didn’t know that others were praying for me to hear from the Lord at that time.
Anticipate: Psalm 5:3 says, “In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice. In the morning, I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation.” I have a sense of expectation as my retreat days draw near, reminding me of the excitement that I felt when my husband I started spending time together. This date that I have with the Lord is a statement to him that I value time with him, and I am longing to be in his presence.
Food for thought: Make a decision beforehand about whether to fast during your retreat day. My personal perspective is that fasting brings about weakness, and Christ is made perfect in our weaknesses. The practice of denying our flesh can enable us to be prepared to fight in the spiritual realm. One retreat day while I was fasting, I was in a building of a tradition different from my own. As I walked around, I saw that one of the beautiful stained glass windows illustrated John 4:34, where Jesus said, “My food is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work.” With encouragement like that, it was a joy to fast that day. But occasionally I like to celebrate and feast with my Lord, going out to lunch someplace special, usually a femme place that my husband would loathe to be seen in. There are times for feasting and times for fasting. Ask the Lord to show you how he would lead you.
Get away: Living in Colorado, I have an abundance of choices where I can get away. But you don’t have to head to the mountains to see God’s creation and to hear from him. I have spent snowy days at the library or by the fireplace at the coffeehouse. Other indoor days have found me at a local church that offers midday worship, where God has often met me and humbled me through just the right song. Of course, when I can, I head outdoors. I am not so sure-footed that I am very good at meditating while I hike, but I have been known to take a prayer list and intercede as I go. Ideally, I like to find a place of solitude where I can marvel at his creation. That place can be anywhere from a park to my backyard. And don’t miss out on the spiritual places like retreat centers, where you might call and ask if you can spend a few hours on the grounds. Many organizations, even those outside your own denomination or church, would be glad to open their gates to you as you seek to draw closer to God.
Take a Bible, journal and pen. I have been blessed to look back at my journal over the past few years at the insights he has given me on my special dates with God. These days don’t replace my daily devotional times, and of course, God can speak to my heart at any time. But I find that when my mind is cleansed of busyness for an extended period of time, there is often a flow of thought or a conversation with God that is luminous. I don’t want to forget, so I write. I also allow myself to keep a very brief list of random thoughts that come to mind during the day (a great idea for a certain project, etc.). I write that down and then I know that I can deal with it later rather than dwelling on it now.
Practice your spiritual disciplines: Sometimes, you may take a retreat day and know in advance that God is impressing an item on your heart to deal with. In prayer and listening, seek God about this issue. He may lay verses on you heart that take you right to the core of your struggle. Other days, you may be at a loss about where to begin, so start with a prayer to submit to whatever he desires for you that day. You may be led to a time of confession, intercession for others, or memorization of scripture. Maybe you need to pray for fresh eyes to re-read a well known passage. (I often take along a Bible version different from my usual one to help give me new insights.) Perhaps you will spend a large amount of time meditating and ruminating on one passage, or you may read a whole book at one sitting to be reminded of its overall themes. Or you may find yourself singing praises at the top of your lungs in worship to the one who gives you life. Often, my days are spent in a combination of these.
I discovered the one discipline that I was missing the most in my daily devotions was the discipline of listening. I found that as I adopted the practice of a retreat day, that very discipline is the one that has given me the most pleasure as I have stopped to listen to my Maker as he reveals his heart to me. My spirit is refreshed and cleansed. Those times are the ones that sustain me for days to come.
I hope that you will be encouraged to join God soon on a Daddy-Daughter Date. It may seem like work to prepare for this special event, but the anticipation and preparation is just part of the fun! He is eager to spend time with you, to remind you that he delights in you, his beloved child.
~Dara
My 6-year-old daughter was glowing with excitement. Annaliese was getting ready for a special date with her dad, and we fixed her hair after she donned the dress we had specifically bought for the occasion. Her dad was preparing as well, putting on his only suit, which only comes out for special events like weddings. (My son, on the first time seeing his dad perform a wedding in these fancy duds said, “Hey, dad, do you get to keep the suit?”) My husband, Wade, had already planned their evening- dinner and a movie. Wade wanted to honor his growing, lovely daughter by spending time one-on-one with her, to listen to her and to speak works of love and truth to her spirit.
Fast forward to the following year. We were on a family vacation in Moab, Utah, a magnet for outdoor junkies like us. I woke up early one morning before sunrise with a song on my mind, “Will You Meet Me Here?” I believe that God often communicates with me by putting song lyrics in my head, remembering Psalm 42:8, “By day the Lord directs his love, at night his song is with me- a prayer to the God of my life.” I obeyed this prompting and got dressed for a walk. I hiked a mile or so from our campground to the Colorado River, watching the sandstone cliffs burn orange with the rising sun. While watching the sun’s reflection shimmering on the muddy banks, I was enamored by the fact that God had invited me to share this special time alone with him. I was on a Daddy-Daughter Date! God had planned in advance to meet me here, to quiet my spirit before him and to see the special gifts he had placed all around me- the light on the water, the sparkling spider web. As I unwrapped these gifts, taking the time to look at them more and more closely, He revealed more and more beauty that I often take for granted. He listened to me as I told him about my struggles to be free of negative self-talk and of comparing myself with others. He listened and He comforted.
On my Daddy-Daughter Date, I was reminded of Zephaniah 3:17, “The Lord your God is with you; He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will comfort you with his love, He will rejoice over you with singing.” Alone with my Father, I felt and reveled in his delight. He wrapped his comforting arms around me as I listened to his singing birds surrounding me.
In the ministry that my husband and I share, one of the required monthly responsibilities is to take a Personal Retreat Day- either a whole or half-day of being alone with the Lord. We can’t “do” ministry- no phone calls, no emails, limited interaction with people. I have decided to rename those retreat days my Daddy-Daughter Dates, recognizing that God has invited me to spend time alone with him, and he has spiritual jewels he is just waiting to give me.
But how do we make these days happen? Below are some tips we have utilized.
Make a plan: Like Wade planned for his date with Annaliese, sometimes we have to make a plan to meet with God. Although sometimes Wade will do something spontaneous with our daughter (“Get dressed and let’s go to breakfast!”), often it takes planning to create time together. In the same way, God will sometimes wake us up literally or figuratively, and say “Let’s get away together.” Sometimes, though, it takes planning to create a large chunk of time dedicated solely to the Lord. Look at your schedule to find a day, then work to make sure your responsibilities are covered.
Enlist the help of others: Even making a retreat of 3-4 hours may seem tantamount to an Everest expedition in your circumstances. But pray that God would show you who he has been preparing to help you in your spiritual growth. If you have young children at home, perhaps you could swap kid-watching time so that you could each get away for half a day. If you are a single parent, think of a family at church whose kids you admire. Share your desire for a retreat day with them, then ask them to pray about how they might help.
Be accountable: We send out a monthly ministry newsletter to our prayer and financial supporters, and we include the date for our retreat date for the upcoming month. We asked to be covered in prayer specifically on that day. There have been times in the busyness of life that I would have been tempted to skip my date if I didn’t know that others were praying for me to hear from the Lord at that time.
Anticipate: Psalm 5:3 says, “In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice. In the morning, I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation.” I have a sense of expectation as my retreat days draw near, reminding me of the excitement that I felt when my husband I started spending time together. This date that I have with the Lord is a statement to him that I value time with him, and I am longing to be in his presence.
Food for thought: Make a decision beforehand about whether to fast during your retreat day. My personal perspective is that fasting brings about weakness, and Christ is made perfect in our weaknesses. The practice of denying our flesh can enable us to be prepared to fight in the spiritual realm. One retreat day while I was fasting, I was in a building of a tradition different from my own. As I walked around, I saw that one of the beautiful stained glass windows illustrated John 4:34, where Jesus said, “My food is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work.” With encouragement like that, it was a joy to fast that day. But occasionally I like to celebrate and feast with my Lord, going out to lunch someplace special, usually a femme place that my husband would loathe to be seen in. There are times for feasting and times for fasting. Ask the Lord to show you how he would lead you.
Get away: Living in Colorado, I have an abundance of choices where I can get away. But you don’t have to head to the mountains to see God’s creation and to hear from him. I have spent snowy days at the library or by the fireplace at the coffeehouse. Other indoor days have found me at a local church that offers midday worship, where God has often met me and humbled me through just the right song. Of course, when I can, I head outdoors. I am not so sure-footed that I am very good at meditating while I hike, but I have been known to take a prayer list and intercede as I go. Ideally, I like to find a place of solitude where I can marvel at his creation. That place can be anywhere from a park to my backyard. And don’t miss out on the spiritual places like retreat centers, where you might call and ask if you can spend a few hours on the grounds. Many organizations, even those outside your own denomination or church, would be glad to open their gates to you as you seek to draw closer to God.
Take a Bible, journal and pen. I have been blessed to look back at my journal over the past few years at the insights he has given me on my special dates with God. These days don’t replace my daily devotional times, and of course, God can speak to my heart at any time. But I find that when my mind is cleansed of busyness for an extended period of time, there is often a flow of thought or a conversation with God that is luminous. I don’t want to forget, so I write. I also allow myself to keep a very brief list of random thoughts that come to mind during the day (a great idea for a certain project, etc.). I write that down and then I know that I can deal with it later rather than dwelling on it now.
Practice your spiritual disciplines: Sometimes, you may take a retreat day and know in advance that God is impressing an item on your heart to deal with. In prayer and listening, seek God about this issue. He may lay verses on you heart that take you right to the core of your struggle. Other days, you may be at a loss about where to begin, so start with a prayer to submit to whatever he desires for you that day. You may be led to a time of confession, intercession for others, or memorization of scripture. Maybe you need to pray for fresh eyes to re-read a well known passage. (I often take along a Bible version different from my usual one to help give me new insights.) Perhaps you will spend a large amount of time meditating and ruminating on one passage, or you may read a whole book at one sitting to be reminded of its overall themes. Or you may find yourself singing praises at the top of your lungs in worship to the one who gives you life. Often, my days are spent in a combination of these.
I discovered the one discipline that I was missing the most in my daily devotions was the discipline of listening. I found that as I adopted the practice of a retreat day, that very discipline is the one that has given me the most pleasure as I have stopped to listen to my Maker as he reveals his heart to me. My spirit is refreshed and cleansed. Those times are the ones that sustain me for days to come.
I hope that you will be encouraged to join God soon on a Daddy-Daughter Date. It may seem like work to prepare for this special event, but the anticipation and preparation is just part of the fun! He is eager to spend time with you, to remind you that he delights in you, his beloved child.
~Dara
posted by Wade at 10:18 PM
3 Comments:
Daddy-Daughter Dates, I love it! What a fabulous analogy!
- Jen
Thank you for putting that in perspective. I enjoy doing the Daddy-Daughter dates with my two daughters (although we haven't done anything fancy yet), but I'd never thought about it in the context of our Heavenly Daddy.
Hmmmm...Definitely something to ponder awhile.
Thank-you so much for your post Dara, it really touched my heart and inspired me to spend more time with my Father in heaven. My Daddy on earth is wonderful, and takes me on special dates sometimes. But how much more wonderful to go on a date with God!
Thanks again, and hope you all are doing great!
~Sally Parish
Post a Comment
<< Home